How can I put this. I've got a friend, that I'm getting to the point that I disagree with almost everything she does or believes. Everything - from her politics to how she treats her dog to what cookie recipe she decided to use for an event at her kid's school - makes no sense to me. I read Timothy Zahn's The Green and the Gray a couple of days ago. Not a bad book, but not one of his better works either. There is something of an overriding theme of "If we can just talk things out, and understand each other, everything will be better." This applies both to the hero's marriage and to the conflict between the Greens and the Grays. Sometimes communication is helpful, sometimes it isn't. The more I communicate my actual beliefs, sometimes more conflict arises. On the other hand, growing up, my family's tendency was to have no conflict whatsoever. So I'm not sure all my instincts are useful or common. So, I've gotten into the habit of disagreeing with /bringing up with little things that bother me, but not the big things. This isn't getting anywhere, let me give a concrete example. Their family was asked to bring about 4 dozen bite sized cookies for a party given on Saturday in celebration of Mother's day. Kids ages range from about 1-6, maybe a little older. Growing up, she has some fond memories of making cookies at home with her mother [I think], and so she at times makes homemade cookies. For the party she decided to make some fairly complicated cookies, requiring making the batter the night before, then making tiny balls, rolling them in sugar, and then putting a chocolate chip in the middle of each one. Now, she wanted a recipe in which her 3 year old son could contribute - he could put the chip down. And, it wouldn't have been so bad if we were making bigger cookies. But if I hadn't been there it would have been fairly late for them to finish the cookies, which would have just gotten the kid angry [ok, more angry]. [Is she specifically having projects around for me to do when I'm at their house? I don't think so, but maybe]. Hmm, I'm feeling taken for granted again. A recurring theme. bleh.